E=MC2

“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” Albert Einstein

“What got you here won’t get you there.” Marshall Goldsmith

I am a very poor scientist. I am fascinated by people who truly understand the theory of relativity or who can compute orbital trajectories. I would LOVE to work for NASA (being a CAPCOM sounds soooo exotic) but realistically they would have to hire me on in some non-sciencey department, like public relations, because I would jeopardize the astronauts’ lives if they used my math calculations to set a course for the moon. I am no Katherine Johnson!

In spite of my not-so-scientific mind, I have always been intrigued by Albert Einstein. Although his own personal life was a tad messy, the fellow had some brilliant quotes about humanity and the psychology of change that are still “relative” to us today. Ha Ha. Bad Pun. I know, but I just couldn’t resist. A thought like “Never memorize something that you can look up” sounds like serious wisdom for coping with brain fog. “The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious” has echos of the spiritual and esoteric. “If we knew what it is we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?” makes me think he had a sense of humour with a flair for sarcasm to boot. My kind of guy!

In the quotation cited at the beginning of the post, Einstein declared that anyone wanting to move towards a new way of living can not do so using the same patterns, beliefs, behaviours and thoughts they were employing beforehand. It sounds kind of obvious, but it is quite counter to my usual way of handling things. More often than not, if something I do doesn’t work, I will attempt more of the same: work harder, try more, do it better than last time, or just plop down on the floor and pout about how stuck I feel and that the world is against me. That last one has been a personal favourite of mine… maybe yours too? I am pretty darn committed to the pathway I am on and, according to Einstein, that approach is doomed to fail. Since he is, well, Einstein, I suppose it is worth evaluating his position to see if we can glean some genius level wisdom.

A few years ago, I read the book “What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There” by Dr. Marshall Goldsmith, an Executive Coach and Psychologist who helps managerial types break through barriers to more successful work and home lives. (It is a great read if you haven’t perused it yet.) Although the book is written more from a business standpoint, one of the key takeaways is that how we live and behave, the path we choose in life, applies to EVERYTHING. Authenticity in my life is about my INTERNAL compass in every situation and how I bring that into all of what I do. Goldsmith’s ultimate point was actually taken from Einstein’s quote; when we want to change, we can not do it using the same mindset, habits and approaches we used to get where we are now. Many of the clients whom he discussed in his case examples were people looking at external goals, such as better relationships with their staff, higher sales numbers or moving further up the corporate ladder. In every situation, Goldsmith started with a thorough inventory of the clients’ personal lives; their histories, family relationships, insecurities and challenges. Rather than making a “sales plan” or doing “team building exercises,” Goldsmith felt that there would be little chance for successful change if there was no internal transformation. For example, if the reason for my taking all the credit for team projects is a deep seated fear of being overlooked, it makes no sense to force me to give out 3 compliments a day or take each of my employees out for lunch. Something needs to change on the inside (address the lack of internal safety leading to insecurity) and then the external behaviours will change with much less effort. It is simple, but it isn’t easy.

Let us consider, for a moment, that our lives are a great big world map. I have decided that I am rather tired of living in freezing cold Canada this February and I want to relocate to tropical Belize. (In case you were wondering this is a not uncommon dream for Canadians in the middle of winter.) If I take out my handy dandy google maps app and I use the same co-ordinates that I entered for my last trip home - North and West - I am going to get to…. exactly where I am currently sitting. Icy cold Alberta. If I want to see those palm trees in Belize, I will need to plot entirely different coordinates heading decidedly more South and East. A whole new direction! Because, what got me here (Western Canada), will not get me there (Central America). This seems pretty self-explanatory for travel, but we are considerably less inclined to behave that way when it comes to patterns of thinking and practice.

One thing I have realized in doing neuroplasticity work for quite a few years now, is that in order to be successful with change, I need to be willing to give up my old ways of relating to myself and the world and be open enough to accept that they really haven’t been working for me. Almost like a 12 step program where the first step is to admit my life isn’t working the way I want it to. It is harder than it sounds. I think it is human nature to resist change and depending on your personality type it is harder for some than others. No one likes being told their approaches aren’t optimal and we all want to believe we can find our own path, ourselves, without outside help and wisdom. That rarely happens. Especially in the early phases of transformation, we need support from others to remind us of where we are going. Since we aren’t familiar with the roads, the landmarks, the gas stations or the restaurants along the new freeway, it makes a HUGE difference to have a friendly voice calling us from ahead saying “you are going the right way!” And when we veer off course, there are others to help dig us out of the ditch and set us back on the highway with a nice warm cup of stellar coffee and some great music for the car radio. We ALL need that.

So what do we need in order to begin to make positive changes? Not only a NEW way of thinking, but a DIFFERENT version of living inside our bodies and relating to ourselves. This isn’t just one of those “AHA moments” (as Oprah likes to call them) where we have a sudden thought followed by a massive U-turn and an instant change of direction. It is more of a openness to recognize how to make slow and steady shifts in our processes. If we know that our old patterns of feeling, thinking and living got us here, and we want to be there, then we could start to consider other options. That might begin with studying some books, watching You Tube videos, following a blog or two, or talking to people who are travelling closer to where we want to be and asking for some directions. There are many alternative highways and byways to choose from. Of course, I am rather partial to finding a great life coach to help, but that is just one of a variety of options.

Remember, for those of us with chronic health issues, Rome definitely isn’t built in a day, a week or maybe even a year, and we have to take a cautious and gentle approach. One brick laid at a time. As we have talked about in previous blog posts, this starts from the inside out. Even though what we often want to see is the EXTERNAL changes, we first need to work on our INTERNAL structures. Hard right? Yup, for sure, and I have struggled with that as much as anyone. We all want our pain levels, brain fog, fatigue, gut issues, sleeping problems, depression (add in whatever else you like) to go away, STAT, as quickly as possible. But that just isn’t how our bodies work. I am sure I sound like a broken record on this one but I know I needed to hear it MANY times before it really clicked. The first road we need to travel is the one inside our own selves.

Einstein was right, “relatively” speaking (OK… I promise it’s my last relativity joke :) that what got you here, won’t get you there. You can not get to Belize with a road map of Canada, but it is never too late to update your GPS destination and set sail on a new adventure. No worries if you break down a time or two on the way or if you are distracted, miss a turn and find yourself going in a direction you didn’t plan for. You can ALWAYS “recalculate” and get back on the road. Warmer weather could be just a short drive, flight, train ride or ferry crossing away. Central America… here we come!