Drips
“Dripping water hollows out stone, not through force but through persistence.” Ovid
“It may be a slow process but quitting won’t speed it up.” Anonymous
Have you ever been super crazy level desperate for a cup of coffee in the morning? I am going to go ahead and assume you have been there. You rush to the kitchen, press the on button, hear the sounds of creaking and groaning as the machine fires up and warms the water, and you can hardly wait. The first drop comes out of the filter and into the carafe and it smells SOOOO good that you want to snap up your cup and start drinking STAT. But… you have to stand by while the drips come out one by one, slowly, steadily, and lazily. A good, full cup of coffee doesn’t arrive in an instant. It takes time for the soaking together of hot water and coffee bean to create the magic of a morning java. Each drip seems super tiny as it exits the dispenser and if you were to grab the cup after just a drop or two, it would not amount to much in the bottom. Yet, given a few moments and some patience, the mug will be full of hot, steamy morning glory!!
I was talking with a fellow coach recently and we got onto the concept of drips, as related to health and wellness. It got me thinking about the power of water for good, when it trickles and flows in a steady current like a coffee pot, as well as the potential for absolute destruction when it comes in gigantic waves like a tsunami. Exactly the same substance in both cases (H20), but two vastly different outcomes. How is that possible? And what do drips and floods have to do with our nervous systems and wellness?
Pacing is a concept much talked about in the world of chronic illness. In my very first week of my very first group after my very first diagnosis, the very first idea we discussed was the critical importance of learning how to safeguard our energy by analyzing our activities and minimizing our exertions. A sensible approach! Although I have never been super fantastic at taking long rest periods, I have always tried to pay attention to how many endeavours I participate in and what I say “yes” to. That is to say, recreational pacing has been on my radar for a long while and likely yours also.
What is newer to me, is the notion of pacing when it comes to our internal work and how it is essential to the possibility of healing from the effects of trauma and transforming one’s life. In somatic work, we sometimes call this type of pacing “titration,” the idea that we want to slow down our body functions and stay within our window of tolerance for new and unknown things. Peter Levine (creator of Somatic Experiencing) talks about how trauma comes at us in a way that is “too much, too fast, too soon,” and we therefore want to counter balance those chaotic events with a calm, deliberate, measured approach to retraining so our systems can feel safe and contained and ready to consider fresh information.
In chemistry, the concept of titration is all about safely mixing liquids together. Consider that you want to mix together an acid and a base, which don’t get along so well, alchemically speaking. Combining them quickly could create a major explosion. However, if you “titrate” and put one tiny drop of the one fluid in with the other, slowly and methodically, they combine with minimal fizzle and then neutralize. And, after a few rounds, the result is that the formally toxic substances turn into salt and water. The two substances are no longer dangerous but now are healthy and life giving to our bodies. Amazing!
When we consider titration in relation to nervous system work, we want to ponder the question “how slow can I go?” This means taking ALL the time needed to feel the results of each “drop” we are taking in, rather than rushing through to down the whole cup. I don’t know about you but this is a VERY challenging practice for me. If I get a new book with great info, I want to devour it all in one day. I skip over things to get to the meat of it as fast as humanly possible. I want to try everything that is suggested, right this minute, often jumping between practices when I don’t feel like it is working immediately. It is a superwoman level challenge for me to read a page or two at a time, allowing the content to really seep into my body, mind, cellular structures and organs. That kind of deep connection to material almost never happens when we rush, skim, leap back and forth among programs or try and cram as many “aha” moments as we can into our learning time. Darn it!
If we are wise chemists of our own systems, we learn that one tiny drip at a time is the best way to keep our hearts engaged, our minds stable and our bodies responsive. When teaching my clients, I often liken it to a cup of liquid. Those of us with trauma histories and health issues tend to come to healing work with a mug that is full to the brim of challenges. If I were to dump another massive bottle of fluid into the first cup, all at once, it would cause a large wave to form and tons of liquid to spill out without ever even entering the cup. Most of the new, healthy material would be lost. The original cup may empty, to a degree, but not without a rather violent and painful upending. If, however, we instead use the wiser method of titration, and put the new fluids in one drop at a time, the first cup will gently begin to spill liquid over the edge. We get the benefit of time for the different substances to mix and the gentleness of a light pour, rather than an aggressive jettison. As we continue to add liquids, a bit at a time, the cup is able to assimilate the new information and make small, measured changes in chemical structure. 100 or 200 or 500 drops later, the cup is now filled with a new chemical compound, a blend of fluids that is safer and steady.
It can be really challenging to add a drip at a time. Trust me, I get it! I am a pour it out fast and furious kind of gal myself. But, I KNOW that this approach is not the best one for my system. A dump it in all at once approach is way too hard on a nervous system that is already suffering. I tell my clients that the best thing they can do for themselves is to pick one of the slow lanes and stay on it for awhile. Choose one thing to do; a course, a program, a book or whatever is calling to you and focus on that. Take a pace that you think is appropriate and then try DOING even LESS but FEELING even MORE. When you get an “aha”, rather than rush through it, STOP and savour it. Let it really seep into your system. NOTICE how your internal structures respond. Do you feel anxious, excited, energized, exhausted? Is there less gripping around your muscles and bones, does your throat feel more open, your gut feel loose? Or does your jaw feel tighter and your neck feel like a headache might be coming on? There is no right answer here. Our parts can respond in various ways (sometimes a bit of everything at once) when we make changes and that is just fine. The important part is our presence WITH the parts and taking time to pay attention to what is happening rather than rushing forward for the next wow moment. We want to avoid the intense pressure (tsunami) and invite slow and steady drips (coffee maker).
Keep in mind that the exact same liquid that makes coffee taste so good is also capable of creating a tsunami that brings tremendous catastrophe. It is all in the quantity, speed and force of how we experience the water. If we let it percolate slow and steady, we get coffee. When an earthquake upends us, the water can become destructive. We are blessed to be the keepers of our own unending quantity of internal H20 and when we use it wisely, the drips can (and do) add up to lovely changes in our systems. So, tomorrow morning, when you head to the kitchen for that morning cup of java, take a moment to relish the warmth, the fragrance, the melodic pitter patter of each droplet hitting the mug, right up until it is full. No rush, no force, but plenty of restraint and a good amount of anticipation. The best coffee comes to fruition with patience, just one drip at a time.
Muchas Gracias to Michele for constantly reminding me that a drip is plenty.
Information on titration taken from https://www.psychotherapy.net/interview/interview-peter-levine